Sweet Smell of Semi-Success

This blog is dedicated to my childhood friend, Kasey Anderson Gatlin. No, she's not dead. But she is the only person who cared enough to ask me how my big Sunday night show at Therapy went. And so, Kasey, this is for you:

It went WELL. Not mind-blowingly, outrageously well, but well. And given how freaked out I was going into it, I'm not complaining. I'll take well.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. My weekend o' performances began Friday night, when I went to Rose's Turn and was thrilled to find Michael Isaacs back behind the piano, where he belongs. The crowd was big and loud and fun and seemed to enjoy some semi-new material on my part, including one bit involving my therapist and a dirty diaper. (Editor's note: My spell-check thinks "semi-new" should be "semen." Ha ha -- he said "semen.")

Seth texted me on my way out the door and told me to meet him and some friends at Opaline in its new location at Club Shelter on 39th and 5th. It is a huge club -- five floors -- with a rooftop deck and lots of sweaty boys dancing shirtless. What's not to love? Had a blast and stayed up WAY too late.

Saturday night was Ron Poole's Gay & Lesbian Comedy Fest at Don't Tell Mama, which was hosted by the always-terrific and highly lesbionic Erin Foley. The crowd was NICE -- a healthy mix of gay men, lesbos and breeders -- and I got to go up third, which I love. Happy, happy, joy joy. Off to Roxy for another late night of no-good. (Have you figured out yet that I was REALLY dreading the Therapy show?)

Slept until noon on Sunday and spent the rest of the day working on my lineup. I decided to go with the Emmys theme; I would dress in formal attire and make my entrance clutching a golden statuette. I also chose music for the performers' introductions -- classical awards-show theme music for my own entrance (it was actually the theme from "Jurassic Park"), Meredith Brooks's "Bitch" for Robin Fox, and Beyoncé's "Naughty Girl" for Courtney Knowles. (Get it? Beyoncé Knowles? Courtney Knowles? Yeah, neither did anyone else. I tried.)

Selected my material, went up to the roof to tan and tried unsuccessfully for a late-afternoon nap. Hopped around the house like a psychotic chicken until 9 and then ventured out into the humid air in my black wool suit, white shirt and suspenders. (This after discovering that the suit, which had always been baggy on me, was now cutting off all circulation to my fat waist. Must do more cardio and less peanut butter.)

Therapy was quiet when I arrived, but those people who were there were all upstairs in the performance area watching the Emmys. Perfect. Gradually, more folks arrived. One of them was even overheard asking, "Hey, is there like some comedy show tonight?" I pounced on him like a tiger:

"Yes! Yes! Don't go anywhere! It's starting in just a few minutes!"

Emmys ended. Dale Sorenson, who had shown up to cheer me on, made the intro into an off-stage mic: "Ladies and Gentlemen: The 2005 Emmy for Best Performance by a Bottom in a Made-For-TV Movie or Miniseries is... ADAM SANK!" I made my way through the small crowd, hugging and kissing random strangers on the way. I got up, stumbled a bit, and then caught a rhythm. Did some fairly decent crowd work and then some material. The queens were actually paying attention, and most of them were laughing. What a difference a crowd makes.

Introduced Robin Fox, who looked great and performed even better. The queens loved her, especially her stuff about Costco. She did a very strong 15 minutes. I got back up, did a couple more so-so bits, then brought up Courtney Knowles, who entertained the crowd with very funny stuff about his Southern Baptist family. He also did a strong 15. I thanked everyone, told them to come back next week, and IT WAS OVER!! SWEET RELIEF!!

Everyone who was there at the start of the show stayed until the end, save for two Asian guys whom I think I offended. (Apparently, they didn't like being referred to as "Gaysians." Go figule.) And Rob, the adorable waiter, informed me, "Tonight went great!" Sweet.

Sincere and heartfelt thanks to the following for coming out to support the show: Tony, Seth, Pat, Matt Peterson, Dale Sorenson, Guy Winch, Rob Driemeyer, Brian Barry and most of all, Robin and Courtney, without whom the show wouldn't have been a success.

I am still terrified about next week, but at least I know it can be done. Stay tuned. ♥

P.S. The Emmys sucked.