|
Today's Headlines, Tomorrow's Litterbox inserts
Posted on 03/18/2007 at 10:17 PM
According to BBC news, Iran celebrated International Women 's Day by arresting 33 women. On a more positive note, Iranian women were allowed to stone themselves.
According to the International Herald Tribune, An unknown number of new George Washington dollar coins were mistakenly struck without their edge inscriptions, including the phrase, "In God We Trust," and made it past inspectors and into circulation, the U.S. Mint said Wednesday.
Coin collectors say they 'lost all hope.'
According to CNN, Jenna Bush is working on a book. It seems it's her way of avoiding having to read them. Anheuser-Busch has agreed to publish it for free.
A recent UN Global Report revealed that the US military budget is greater than the military budgets of all the other 192 nations. Justification for the vast budget is meant to prevent the 192 nations terrorists' from following us home. Also, you never can be too sure about an attack being launched from the Canis Major Galaxy.
According to CBS News, top Pentagon General Peter Pace made controversy after calling homosexuality "immoral." Unless, of course, they have to spoon to keep warm at Walter Reed Hospital.
During a campaign speech, Barak Obama complimented Jon Edwards by calling him 'cute'. Jon Edwards, assuming Barak was using kindness to kill him, responded by saying Barak is the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking to call him 'cute'.
*check out Brett Bumeter's NoMoreIncumbents and read my latest Joe Biden column as well as columns by Brett. As the New Hampshire primary nearsm, be sure to come back and check out columns by New Hampshire native and fellow soapboxer Dave Wornica.
|
1 Comment |
3052 Views |
Back to top |
Barak the Vote: Obama and Company Choose their Campaign Anthems
Posted on 03/11/2007 at 08:01 PM
As the path to Super Tuesday draws near, presidential candidates carefully choose the songs that will hopefully propel them into the whitehouse. Over the years we've grown accustomed to candidates and their songs. From Thomas Jefferson's "I ain't no slaves sugar daddy," to Ronald Reagan's ironic "Born in the USA" (an antiwar anthem). With today's field of candidates so widely diverse, including gender and race, it's only appropriate that their songs are as well. So without further ado, I give you this year's candidates (Dems only) and the songs of their choosing coupled with songs that I feel suit them best.
Sen. Barak Obama (D-IL)
The Kinks' 'Give the People What They Want.' Concise, accurate and dead on.
My personal pick: NOFX 'Don't Call Me White.'
Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE)
John Fogerty, 'Centerfield.'
My personal pick: George Harrison 'My Sweet Lord.'
Reason being, George Harrison was accused of plagiarizing the melody from this song from a smash hit called "He's So Fine." Coincidentally, Joe Biden was accused of and later confessed to plagiarizing a speech written by a British MP (member of Parliament).
Retired General Wesley Clark
Tom Petty, 'Won't Back Down.' A little trite and painfully obvious if you ask me.
My personal pick: Ashlee Simpson, 'Invisible.'
Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH)
Kucinich took a proud American patriot song and 'America the Beautiful' and paired it with a little John Lennon.'Imagine.'
Clearly, he's overcompensating for his and utter lack of war credentials.
My personal pick: Roy Halee, 'Mighty Mouse.'
Sen. Christopher Dodd (D-CT)
The Four Tops, 'Reach Out, I'll Be There.'
My personal pick: Atari Teenage Riot, 'Delete Yourself! You Got No Chance to Win!'
Gov. Bill Richardson
Bill Withers, 'Lean on Me.'
Desperately trying to show that he cares.
My personal pick: The Who, 'Who Are You?'
Former Senator John Edwards
John Mellencamp, 'This Is Our Country!
In a winning strategy, charismatic, populist John Edwards aims to attack the emotions of America's many disgruntled blue-collar workers and disenchanted citizens. On the other hand, I think most Americans think of this song each and every time an NFL game cuts to a commercial!!
My personal pick: Lynyrd Skynrd, 'Simple Man'
Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY)
Jesus Jones, 'Right Her Right Now,' Bachman-Turner Overdrive, 'Ain't Seen Nothing Yet.'
It's very befitting for Hillary to have two songs, in as much as she's always changing. Or is it this just a cynical attempt at triangulation? Inspired by the fall of the Berlin Wall, this song is ranked as one of the favorite songs among conservatives.
My personal pick: White Zombie, 'Power Hungry'
Feel free to leave suggestions of your own regarding the presidential candidates and their songs.
|
2 Comments |
3030 Views |
Back to top |
Librarians Left Behind: Federal Government cuts back on Libraries
Posted on 03/06/2007 at 03:09 PM
Bush, as we know, is asking for another hundred billion dollars for Iraq. After all, what's one measly hundred billion dollars when you've already spent a fucking trillion!It's like giving a blind hairdresser more scissors.
Despite the fact that Congress controls the strings to the purse, Bush will inevitably get the money. We wouldn't want defense contractors to have to sleep cold on a pile of cash. Meanwhile, reports are coming out about American Soldiers living in substandard conditions at the main US Army centre in Washington. It's like KFC/Taco Bell meets Abu Grahb.click here for full story
Sorry for the momentary harangue.
How utterly emblematic of government priorities that at the same time the largest library in American history is about to happen: Jackson County, Oregon, is planning on shutting down its entire library system. Reason? Federal funding has been slashed like Hannibal Lector's fourth victim (as part of the effort to scrape together more money for Iraq). Reading is for terrorists anyway.
Who needs all those subversive books when all the information anyone requires is contained in one book that isn't even in the library: the Holy Bible. Furthermore, the desire to slake ones thirst for knowledge is treason and godless. Don't bother me with your calculator, hippie! We're at War!
That's right, we are at war. Or, to put it differently, we are engaged in the transfer of massive amounts of our money from the Treasury to the filthy rich executives and shareholders of America's defense contractors. Of course, masterfully engineering that transfer is the defense industry's representative in government, Dick Cheney.
Cheney was also instrumental in misleading us into the war in Iraq in the first place. Let's sum up how the defense industry did it: They got their guy elected vice-president. He then manipulated us into a war that is serving as the justification for transferring all that money to the defense contractors, including the company of which he was CEO right up until he was sworn in as vice-president.
Never mind that not a single one of the multiple rationales for invading Iraq has come to fruition. The money keeps on flowing out of the Treasury. Also, disregard the fact that what was told would be a walk in the park has turned into a four-year quagmire with virtually no sign of success. The defense industry is actually making more money precisely because the invasion has turned into a quagmire. Oligarchs don't make much money during times of peace; they hunger for asymmetrical warfare.
For the school kids of Jackson County, it doesn't matter, since they won't have any libraries to go to. Their future, however, isn't altogether abject. Once they get a little older, they can always join the military--because, after all, we'll still be at war.
On a totally unrelated note, Ann Coulter Smells.
|
4 Comments |
2544 Views |
Back to top |
|
