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THE BLOG OF ANGRY BOB

 
2014 elections

| 0 Comments | 2393 Views | Back to top | Posted on 11/03/2014 at 02:31 PM
 

ok - have been pretty quiet this political season - with the dual disasters of Ebola (the media coverage, not the actual disease) and the country western inbred empty head Taylor Swift becoming the spokesperson for NYC (I guess buying a $20mil condo gets you more than just a key to the city these days), what is there really to talk about?? The Grand Old Perverts seemingly will take the senate and initiate a 2 year festival called IMPEACH THE KENYAN DARKIE called for by their drooling even-more-inbred tea party overlords - this while the country continues to crumble into a third world parody of what it once was, with collapsing infrastructure being beat into the ground by obese, electric cart wheeling dolts (and Russia/China LAUGHING and continuing to cyber-attack and confound our dying technology grids)!!

And on the local front, our abysmal food network star-boffing and in the pockets of the wealthy/corporations/gas-fracking governor will also surely get re-elected despite ethics probes and avoiding even one debate with his GOP challenger (and even bigger loser, but I digress...). so, as a lifelong Democrat, what's a boy to do??? Pray that sometime later today every GOP senate candidate is inconveniently found in their local airport bathroom with a hairless Laotian boy firmly ensconced in their rectum while a TMZ film crew are in the next stall taking a dump??? that somehow we're living in a world where the sadly potential great governor and the famed “Sheriff of Wall” Street Elliot Spitzer is vying for his third successful term after breaking the moneyed interests of their greed addictions while KEEPING HIS KOSHER SCHVANZ IN HIS DOCKERS????? no, these are sad and delusional pipedreams (but maybe there are a few cold and frightened Laotian houseboys hiding in some GOP candidate rumpus rooms somewhere...but again, I digress)>>>

So here’s my only suggestions to my fellow demoralized Democrats who are being offered a bland array of pathetic candidates who have run the most miserably cowardly races I’ve ever seen – so afraid to be aligned to a President who has brought this country back from a fiscal disaster, who saved our auto industry, who created for first steps to a true national healthcare system, who presided over the execution of the architect of the 9/11 terror attack, just because they can’t fight the mouth breathers and the insane libertarian billionaires and their quest to tar and feather our BLACK President again and again and again, despite the effect it’s having on our national psyche and our standing in the eyes of the world community…..despite their lack of spine and loyalty – vote DEMOCRAT – for congress, for senate, for governor, for everything!!! They may be they party of the mealy-mouthed spineless wusses who can’t even fess up that they voted for their own President…but once the dust settles, they will try as much as they can to do the right thing for the masses, the hoi polloi, the middle class (what’s left of it), etc….The only deviation I offer is for our dear Gov Cuomo, who may actually serve out his term in Ossining as opposed to Albany if the ethics probes are allowed to continue….he will win anyway…so for a protest vote, vote for the Green Party candidate – I don’t even know who it is nor do I care, it will just send a message that the left is alive and well and will grab those Dems that are incessantly trying to waltz off to the right with their corporate backers and Manhattan millionaires and force them to dance to OUR tunes now and again – and if that loser Asterino wins, so be it….the country can’t get any worse (or can it??) – so there’s my two cents….take it for what it’s work or just go get a massage with a “happy ending” instead, at least it’s a screwing you may actually enjoy for a moment or two!!!

GLUTENMANIA

| 0 Comments | 1746 Views | Back to top | Posted on 03/02/2014 at 07:20 AM
 

First (I guess) it was butter…butter is the scourge of heart disease & limp dicks everywhere!! Then it's evil cousin, the EGG YOKE became public enemy #1…then CARBS went on the "hit list" of POISON, not even to be looked at in the eye…now it's GLUTEN…the yummy substance that makes bagels gooey & chewy has be relegated to CRIMINAL status, & nincompoops everywhere have convinced themselves that they are allergic, an allergy that has prevented them from attaining all their goals in life, in love…ah, this gluten is quite the scapegoat!!! But, maybe, if you have a BALANCED approach to nutrition (and life itself, hey, there's a wacky idea!!), maybe we'll see that butter, yokes, carbs, gluten & any other consumable "devil" food can still be our friend if we embrace UNADULTERATED foods, UNPROCESSED foods, and give a heave-ho to processed garbage rife with artificial colors, flavors, shelf-life extenders, the overly sugared & salted, GMOs (juries still out on those but always good to be cautious!), antibiotics &artificial growth hormones…avoid consuming foods with these true villains & the four aforementioned "horseman of the dinner table apocalypse" aren't really that bad at all…& can be quite delicious!!

War: what is it good for? (Actually, a lot!)

| 0 Comments | 2533 Views | Back to top | Posted on 06/23/2013 at 11:57 AM
 

Recently, a "fly" fell into my fb "web" & started fucking with me, so I naturally fucked right back, and then as the game lopsidedly continued in my favor of course, she recanted and claimed that she was being a "hater" and was trying to not work from those impulses any more, and I replyed with this:

No, please continue...hate is a most attractive and powerful force in the universe...it leads to war and war is the finest thing humans can engage in!! War makes huge profits for corporations, leads to many technological breakthroughs, keeps population growth in check, creates amazing subject matter for art, literature, theater, films, and gives individuals the chance to know and understand and engage in valor, self-sacrifice, team effort & more and can be a defining event in the lives of individuals and societies!! I always encourage nation states to war with each other for these very reasons and hate is the perfect catalyst...so please keep it up, you dumb ugly bitch, and pray to the god Mars for pogroms, insurrections, civil unrest, invasions, ethnic cleansings, resource shortages, military juntas & coups, and any other of the many preludes to WAR!!

All quite true!!

Phone Tapping US Citizens?? And???

| 0 Comments | 2603 Views | Back to top | Posted on 06/06/2013 at 08:53 AM
 

A recent (30 min ago) post on fb that I'm particularly proud of...enjoy!

After 9/11, Bush (Cheney) & his neocon cronies turned this country into a police state & the good, scared little sheep went to slaughter with big smiles on their slack jaws that "Daddy" was going to protect them from the big bad A-rabs!! Now, we hear that they've been monitoring phone information & we go all apeshit like its something brand new and who the fuck is Capt. Socialist Obama to do this to us??? To us...the freedom loving, God fearing, Bill of Rights worshipping good little boys and girls of the good ol' US of A??? Are you seriously fucking kidding me??? Where the fuck have you been the last 12 years...grow the fuck up & suck it up...you begged for it & you got it and it's never going to end until we're all chained to assembly lines making lead paint coated children's toys for the fat children of red china communist bigwigs for handfuls of pop tart crumbs a day, you simpering, ostrich-head-in-the-sand fucking morons!!! We reap what we sow...WE REAP WHAT WE SOW!!!! (Btw, happy D Day...if those brave men could see the assclown fest this country would become in 69 years, how many of them would just turn around and tell the krauts to keep it???)

So 2 years later and....

| 0 Comments | 2491 Views | Back to top | Posted on 06/03/2013 at 09:16 AM
 

...I've now blogged again after I said I'd start blogging again...so 40 lashes with a wet penis for me!! I dunno...I write short stories that I've done nothing with, have 3 "partial" scripts, write for cash occasionally (more "occasionally" than I like, of course), dumb jokes, the errant shopping list, etc...but my absolute fave writing of late that feeds into my dual impulses of commitment avoidance on any level and my base genetically ingrained apathy/procrastination is twitter - I mean, how great is it to blurt out a quick 140 characters of nonsense and be done with it?? It's like serial killing for a writer without all that legal/incarceration nonsense - run in, take out a mark (with a well-crafted & humorous bons mot as opposed to a glock with a laser scope and silencer of course) and go get a celebratory beer afterwards!! But, the one thing it fails to address is my incessant need for MONEY - I just love the stuff - and you don't fucking get paid for twitter, no sir!! So, I need to learn to balance my impulse to give all these quickies away like a sorority girl at an ivy league co-ed mixer and be more long term in my writing - but in the meantime, check me out as I utter the unutterable, harass "celebrities" and make generally anti-child/breeder/endeavor/life statements with my usual aplomb, verve and panache - https://twitter.com/comicangrybob

 
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