What you are about to read is a real and unfabricated (yes i know that's redundant, fuck off) list of what is in my coat pockets right now. This is NOT, i repeat, NOT a consolidated mixture of things I have had in my pockets at one time or another, but what is in my pockets as of this very moment.
1. An Ipod playing "Tommy" on a constant loop.
2. 30 stickers for "DailyComedy.com" promotion.
3. A Prayercard from my grandma's funeral.
4. Pictures of a girl that didn't like me in high school.
5. A pamphlet on dealing with loneliness.
Yeah, I'm as creeped out as you are. However, it could be much worse. For example, I could have:
1. An Ipod playing "The Catcher In The Rye" on a constant loop.
2. 30 stickers for "DailySodomy.com"
3. A Prayercard from the woman I called grandma but was really just an old lady I liked to masturbate to.
4. A picture of the girl that didn't like me in high school's vagina.
5. A pamphlet on dealing with pedophilia.
...Sleep well dear reader.