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8 Fabulous Things to Give Yourself

| 0 Comments | 2221 Views | Back to top | Posted on 12/09/2011 at 03:15 AM

the MoMa Thermal Carafe, $42

Struggling with what to give yourself this Christmas? Imploding over the stress of what to get that special someone (you)? Let KB make a few suggestions.

Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House, by Cheryl Mendelson.

If you have ever felt a lack of confidence about your ability to keep house, and if you have ever swooned over a beautifully executed sentence about dust, this book belongs on your mindfully-dusted bookshelf. I showed up late last night for a comedy performance because I became convinced I needed to have this book. I was right. I needed to have this book and so may you. Buy it for yourself without reservation and for someone else with caution. I know I might take offense if someone handed me a housekeeping manual. Ms. Cheryl Mendelson, Esq., you are rocking my domestic world.

Earphone Splitter - The Branch.

How else could Irving and I so luxuriously enjoy an episode of "Bored to Death" while riding the F train? Sure we could do the whole "one bud for you, one bud for me" thing, but that's so high school. We're 35 now! At least I am. Get the Branch. Or as Irving calls it, "The Aorta." $10.

HUT Studios Christmas tree ornaments.

These are for anyone who loves NYC--and who doesn't? That's right: I don't. But I live here and I'm a comedian and have to keep up that whole "life isn't treating me right" schtick. Get your miniature Twin Towers, your Chrysler Building, your Empire State Building. Also: West Village, Times Square, Lincoln Center, the corner of Evergreen and Jefferson where I got mugged.... I wish they made a 1970s Times Square and a 2011 Times Square. Maybe in time. For now, enjoy all the different hoods and highlights AND one of the most obnoxious websites since I made one in community college:

Everything Kitchen Book (I need to get the real title).

I purchased this book over ten years ago when I moved into my first apartment in Chicago's Ravenswood. Contains very helpful hints, such as the stay-with-me-for-the-rest-of-my-life "if it floats, it's old." That's in regards to eggs. I was recently at a dinner party and the conversation turned to fun kitchen tricks. Okay, I grabbed the wheel and cranked it towards "kitchen tricks." We had fun. Save your family from a bad egg, and get yourself this book.

Hudson Bay Blanket.

My heater is broken. Guess who doesn't care? Besides honey bagdger, I don't care because I have a thick, super warm wool Hudson Bay Blanket. I purchased mine years ago at an antique store along the Wisconsin-Illinois border for a reasonable $125. Woolrich is selling them for $370, but find them on ebay and at antique stores for less. Check out the pic from a New Yorker fiction photo. Worth it, don't you think?

LL Bean Flannel Sheets.

For the ultimate "camping with your loving family in the Adirondacks in the 70s" experience. Never experienced that? Who did. Whether you are taking to your bed due to seasonal depression or reliving a fantasy past that never happened, these are the sheets for you. Get them in one of the charming prints: Evergreen, Vintage Skier, or Plaid Forest. $69 to Prices I Can't Afford.

J Crew Minnie Pant.

I tried these on last Wednesday and went total lesbo for myself. That's how flattering these are. Get them in the bi-stretch wool. I don't care that they are cropped-legged pants like my mom wears. Prices I Can't Afford.

MoMA's Shiny Red Thermal Carafe! REMOVED

Usually I rave about things I already own. I do not already own this. But it looks great and I bet it works great too. UPDATE: this thing looks nothing like the photo in real life. I thought it would be shiny just like the pic. It's a matte plastic rather than glossy. For shame MoMA! Get a more realistic pic before you get a torrent of highly descriptive and artsmart complaints from your high falutin' customer base.

What are your favorite gifts to yourself this season? Anything I absolutely shouldn't miss?


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