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G.U.T : Grand Unified Theory

I have discovered a formula explaining the Couch Potato Phenomenon by combining Einsteinâ€™s Theory of Relativity and Ohmâ€™s Law. Ohmâ€™s Law states:
V = IR (Voltage equals Current multiplied by Resistance)
So I = V/R

Einsteinâ€™s Theory of Relativity states:
E = mcÂ²
So mE=mÂ²cÂ²

Websterâ€™s dictionary defines “ME” as the objective form of “I“.

So we can say:
If mE=I,

then m=I/E

Mass equals current divided by energy

mass: weight gained (fat)
current: forward movement (exercise)
energy: usable power (food)

Using Fermetâ€™s Law we can manipulate the results to suit our needs to:

The weight gained equals the amount of food consumed divided by the amount of exercise.

Letâ€™s apply the G.U.T. formula:

If Joe Six-Pack decided to consume 2 pints of Ben and Jerryâ€™s Chunky Monkey ice cream and decided to watch the entire Season 1 of The Office, what would be the total weight gained?

Running time of The Office Season 1:
3 hours

Calories burned watching television:
68 calories per hour

Calories in Chunky Monkey:
2480 calories

The G.U.T. formula predicts Joe will have a higher level of LDL cholesterol and an extremely fat ass.

Iâ€™m also working on a formula that proves mimes are losers:
mImE = 0